Do you still have your period?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
