Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
