so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
