In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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