hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
