I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm at about main and main street
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
