I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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