hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
