omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
