Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
