3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
