My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
