we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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