We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
