i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
