GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
