called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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