i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Randomize
