she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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