Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize