Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
