he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Randomize
