Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
