I need help removing her.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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