Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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