Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
