i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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