i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
then he tried to convert me to islam
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It's rum buckets o'clock
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
