Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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