Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
