Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize