just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize