Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize