i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
