But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
