I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize