Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
