Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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