i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
