ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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