what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Couch. On fire.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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