Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
