I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
dude. I can hear the air.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
