i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
