You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
