sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
