I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize