she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Never joke about your clitoris.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
