All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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