She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
