their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
