I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
