Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
