You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
