mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize