forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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