Duck Duck Cougar?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
