So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
