You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
