SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
