Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
How external is "for external use only"?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
