That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
