come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
