It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
