He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
